Terms of Endearment
by Sandylee007
Summary: In a cabin far away from everything Reid and Prentiss enjoy the company of each other while waiting for a phone call that may change their lives forever…          TWOSHOT           ReidxPrentiss
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Heh, so another oneshot just took over my head. (grins and rolls eyes at oneself) I've promised to a dear soul to write a ReidxPrentiss –fic, and when this idea floated in I thought HEY – perhaps they could be combined. Here's the result. (smirks sheepishly)

WARNINGS: Hmm… Sad themes, I guess. But nothing more serious than that this time. (blinks) Now there's a record!

DISCLAIMER: Oh boy, if only I'd own 'CM'! I'd slip this story into the series instead of posting it as fanfiction. (grins evilly, then sighs with disappointment) **No significant connection to the movie**, just a similar theme.

**WARNING/ANNOUNCEMENT** – Honestly, I'm not sure if I quite finished this story in this one chapter; I may later expand it to a two- or threeshot. So I'm asking you guys… What do you say, should this story continue or should I leave it the way it is? I'd really like to hear what you think after you've read the chapter!

Awkay. (takes a deep breath) Since this is always the scare part, let's get it over with. I REALLY hope you'll enjoy the ride, folks!

* * *

**_Terms of Endearment_**

* * *

The cabin was quiet and filled by light as Emily Prentiss opened her eyes slowly, filling her lungs with a breath that held the scent of lake and forest. For a moment she enjoyed the feel of the warm, soft bed until shifting to lay on her side. She frowned upon discovering that the other side of the bed was empty.

_Shouldn't be surprised anymore_, she came to think. _He always wakes up early, especially now._

Feeling slightly heavy from too much sleep she pushed herself up and began to make her way towards the cabin's door. It took only opening the door to discover that she wouldn't have to look for her companion long.

Dr. Spencer Reid was sitting on the cabin's stairs with a thoughtful yet calm, almost serene, look on his face. No matter how much she hated the action Emily found herself examining him with her gaze, as she did very often these days. Spencer appeared exhausted and pale, but not sick. In fact this was the most 'normal' he'd looked in months. That thought gave Emily a hint of comfort.

Clearly sensing that he was being stared at, Spencer turned his head just enough to see her. A tiny smile appeared to his face. "'Morning, Emily", he greeted, his voice so soft that she guessed he'd been nauseous earlier.

It was a tiny miracle, really, that she managed to smile as she approached and sat beside him. Without neither of them noticing she took his hand and they both held on tightly. "How long have you been awake?" she inquired, managing to keep her tone casual.

Spencer shrugged. "A couple of hours, I guess." They were both much too aware that it was only seven in the morning at the moment. "I… wasn't feeling well, so I thought I should get some fresh air." That was a coded expression to him feeling violently ill. He gave her a swift sideways glance. "I didn't disturb you, did I?"

Emily shook her head, half-subconcsiously tightening her jaw for a moment. "But I wish you had." Her eyes were, perhaps, a little bit harder than necessary. "I thought we had an agreement that you wouldn't go through _this_ alone." Of course she'd known from the start that it wouldn't be quite that simple. Spencer had made it through so much all alone that he probably didn't know any other way of doing it.

Appearing somewhat sheepish Spencer sighed and relaxed, so that he leaned slightly against her shoulder. She wondered if he'd just made it through a wave of pain, and the thought made her stomach knot. "I'm sorry", Spencer murmured after a moment of silence, then cleared his throat. "So… The doctor's going to call today." He tried to say it like it'd been a tiny, mundane thing and failed miserably.

It most deffinitely wasn't humdrum, to wait for the news on whether his leukemia was showing any signs of surrendering whatsoever. They'd already been relieved by the news that said Spencer was showing signs of recovery before this newest bump in the road. When Spencer had woken up one morning feverish and nauseous it hadn't taken his intelligence and knowledge along with her common sense to figure out that something was wrong.

So no, this was _not _mundane. Because Emily had never been this scared in her entire life. When he first collapsed after a case briefing, then admitted he'd been feeling sick for almost two months and later got the diagnose, Emily had been shielded by numbing shock. But now she'd had the time to think, to take in everything. And being in front of this – in front of the possibility of losing _Spencer_ – completely bare and aware was the most horrifying thing she'd ever faced.

Emily was snapped out of her thoughts when she felt Spencer shudder. She immediately looked at him, ice-cold alarm spreading through her body. "Are you okay?" It was a stupid question, really, especially since she knew he'd lie in response. But somehow hearing him say those words, no matter how false they were, comforted her.

It was a surprise that Spencer managed to smile before nodding and clearing his throat. She felt his too cold hand squeeze hers rather weakly. "I'm fine, just a bit tired and sore."

Emily didn't know what happened, and why now of all times. But for the first time since this whole nightmare began her eyes filled with hot, hellishly stinging tears and a couple of them rolled down her cheeks. Her body shook and she brought a fist to her lips as a single sob erupted. She immediately hated herself for such a reaction. She was supposed to be the stronger one of them – the one who wasn't lost, scared and angry in the middle of all this! She'd always been so good at bottling up all her emotions inside, almost scarily good. She'd been able to walk through almost anything without letting the members of her team see her upset or affected. So why couldn't she stop another two tears from appearing?

Emily didn't know what she was expecting, because she shuddered with surprise when Spencer suddenly wrapped a pair of arms around her and pulled her close. He held her so close that she could feel his heart beating. To just about anyone else it might've been a surprise how quiet he was just then, since he'd always been viewed as the most talkative member of the team. But over the fifteen months they'd been together Emily had seen more than enough hidden sides of him not to be surprised by anything. Some days she felt selfish pride over the thought that she was the one he'd trusted enough to reveal all of him.

Emily had no idea how long the silence had lasted until Spencer spoke quietly. "It's okay", he assured her in a soft voice, rubbing circles to her back. "The bonarial transplant didn't work, but according to the statistics there's still a 20-40 percent's chance. So…" The man swallowed. "I'm not planning on giving up, okay?"

Emily knew she was squeezing him too hard, but couldn't bring herself to loosen her hold. She buried her face to his chest, breathing in his familiar scent. It felt good to discover that it hadn't changed, no matter what was happening in his body. Emitting a sigh she ran a hand through his hair, and a part of her was glad he hadn't lost them during the harsh treatments. It made the harsh reality seem a bit further off.

This switch of roles felt bizarre to her. Usually she was the one rubbing his back when he threw up, the one holding him when he was in pain and refused medication, the one who whispered soothing words she hoped from the bottom of her heart she'd believed in. Usually she was the one in control over herself.

Just then, completely unexpectedly, there was a sharp jolt in her stomach as the third party of their relationship joined the moment. With a soft gasp Emily brought a hand to her stomach, just in time to feel another jolt. "The baby", she explained after a moment when seeing Spencer's questioning expression. "It's kicking. Do you want to feel?"

There was a rather amusing, nearly petrified look in Spencer's eyes as she made the decision for him. He jumped a little with surprise when she placed his hand to her swollen abdomen and the baby kicked in an instant, as though recognizing its father's touch. It took a long moment before Spencer finally relaxed and dared to press his hand fully against her.

Emily felt her throat contract as he observed how Spencer all but stared at her stomach with wide eyes and the baby kept kicking, as though responding to some telepathic messages from him.

She'd found out about her baby, _their _baby, a month after Spencer had been diagnosed. Sometimes it hurt to _feel _a new life inside her growing while Spencer seemed to be fading away. And at times, like today, it hurt even more to know that there was a great possibility that Spencer would never see his child.

"You know…" It took a second or two before Emily realized it was her voice talking. "I've been thinking. And if it's a boy… I think Jason would be a great name."

At first Spencer looked at her and blinked twice. Then, as he realized she was serious, a huge smile appeared to his face. That's when the last of her self-restraints broke.

She leaned forward and kissed him, hard. After a moment's shock he responded eagerly.

They'd rented the cabin for a long weekend to get away from _everything_. But two hours later the rest of the world reached them as Spencer's cell-phone started ringing determinedly. They both knew full well it was the doctor calling.

They looked at each other with solemn eyes, then got up and headed inside to hear the news. They didn't dare to let go of each other's hand for even a second.

* * *

'_When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile._'

Unknown

* * *

**_End._**

* * *

A/N: Soooo… (swallows, and blinks a bit) ('Got something in my eye, that's all) What are your thoughts – was the story good, at all? Do you think you just read the full story or should there be more? Or heck, should I press 'delete' while I still can?

**PLEASE**, do let me hear from you! Writing is something I'd go insane without, and hearing from you would be the icing on top of the cake. So… Pwease…? (gives puppy's eyes)

Awkay, the battery of my laptop is going to bail me soon, so I've gotta start tuning out. (pouts)

Thank you so much for reading! And hey, maybe I'll be seeing you around some day!

Peace out!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I left the story to a torturous spot, didn't I? (winces) Soooo, I decided to give you guys a closure so you wouldn't be left hanging. (grins) Can't say you'd all be happy with the outcome, though… (gulps)

BUT, first… THANK YOU so much for all those reviews! (GLOMPS) You can't even imagine how good it felt to notice that so many of you care about this story. So thank you! (hugs again)

Awkay… Because I've been stalling long enough, let's go. (gulps again, nervously) I really, REALLY hope you'll enjoy the ride!

* * *

**_Chapter two_**

**_

* * *

_**

One night of early autumn Spencer Reid had a strange dream.

He was walking through a meadow that was filled with what looked like a million red poppies. Before him ran a dark-haired little boy at the age of around five, laughing with joy. "Jason!" he called out in a tone he didn't remember ever actually using. "Jason, wait!"

"C'mon, daddy!" the little-boy called out impatiently, starting to turn towards him. "We'll be late – we'll miss seeing the boats!"

The child was almost facing him when there was a loud 'clonk' that startled Spencer back to reality. His gaze moving rapidly to side, he discovered a apologetic looking nursing student who'd entered the room with a tray of food. Apparently the student – a very young woman with shoulder-length blond hair and huge brown eyes – had dropped the metallic cover that'd been keeping his food warm. "I'm so sorry!" she blurted out. "I didn't mean to startle you."

Spencer nodded, deciding not to make her feel even worse with saying it was the first time in a couple of weeks he'd fallen into a sleep that was deep enough to include dreams. "Thanks", he murmured as she put the tray to the tiny table placed beside his bed. He discovered with dismay that his mouth was incredibly sore and dry. "But I'm not hungry." In full truth he didn't think he'd manage to take a bite without throwing up immediately. His stomach made backflips even at the mere thought.

The nursing student frowned, appearing uncertain as to what she was supposed to do. She glanced towards the food, then back at him and tried to smile. "Try to get something down, anyway. Maybe it'll make you feel better." Apparently she'd been told it was a while from the last time he'd eaten properly. He couldn't tell for sure exactly how long.

He nodded once more, since it was the only reaction he could come up with. After a couple of long, stiff seconds the student left, abandoning him with the food that was making him queasy with its smell. With some shudders and struggling to keep bile down he pushed the table further although it didn't help much. The smell kept intensifying in the tiny isolation room. And in the end he couldn't fight it any longer.

He squeezed his rapidly tearing up eyes tightly shut when his tormented, already hellishly sore throat _burned_ as he threw up violently. The pain was horrendous enough to make him shake a little bit. And of course just then Emily Prentiss entered, wearing a protective gown and gloves.

To his immense relief she didn't say anything. For a moment she looked unsure as to how she should proceed. In the end she made up her mind and walked up to him, rubbing his back as he threw up again. That second time the pain in Spencer's assaulted throat was even worse, and black spots danced in his vision.

At the moment his doctor's words from two months earlier echoed in both their heads.

'_I'm so sorry._'

Eventually Spencer just didn't have the energy to throw up anymore, which left him gasping and breathing heavily, his throat on fire. His stomach was still squirming with nausea.

"Are you feeling any better?" Emily asked quietly, still rubbing tender circles to his back.

Spencer would've given just about anything if he'd had the courage to be honest with her, to voice just how hard and exhausting this was getting – to admit that this was all getting too much. But he couldn't do that to her, not yet. And so he nodded, closing his eyes.

He felt Emily shift, clearly planning on leaving the bed. "I'll go and get some ice for you mouth, okay?"

She was about to leave when Spencer took her hand with a surprising amount of determination. For the first time in days their eyes truly met. "Stay", he half-pleaded.

Perhaps Emily was beginning to truly see the situation, because Spencer had never before seen the look that appeared to her eyes as she nodded slowly. Without saying a word she settled herself to the bed behind him and buried her face to his back. Her arms reached all the way around his thin waistline easily and held on almost painfully tightly. Spencer truly hoped he didn't feel her shake from sobs.

The room as utterly quiet as they sat there, for the time being isolated from the rest of the world and reality. To them the torrential rain pouring outside was nothing but a distant echo.

* * *

Three days later Derek Morgan breathed in deep, evening breaths while stood outside the isolation room of a hospital that'd become Spencer's second home.

He was being a coward and he hated it.

Then, with a deep breath, he managed to pull himself together. After making all the necessary preparations that seemed to take years he entered the actual room. And, as always, froze exactly two steps from the door.

Spencer was sleeping, which alone was a shock. Over the past month pain, nausea and general discomfort had kept the genius awake constantly, so it was slightly comforting to see him rest. But the younger man was so pale that it startled Derek, and even when sleeping the brunet seemed to be in a great deal of malaise. Spencer's hair – which had remained stubbornly through all the treatment sessions and actually grown – had been pulled to a ponytail. That way it was all too easy to see just how much the man had lost of his weight, which had been too much low from the start.

Suddenly Derek felt a need to look at Spencer's chest, to see that it was still rising and falling.

Derek didn't know what awakened Spencer, because he was very careful not to make a sound. The younger man shuddered a little, as though startled by something, and emitted a tiny "Uhm…".

Taking a one more exhale Derek walked to the bed. "Hey", he greeted, doing his best to control the tremble that wanted to sneak in to his speech. "So you finally got some sleep."

Cracking his eyes halfway open Spencer gave a weak smile. "Hmmh. I think they gave me something." The man rubbed his face with one hand, clearly still trying to wake up fully. "I had a weird dream."

For a moment Derek felt tempted to pry further, but had a feeling that these matters were such Spencer would rather not talk about. Instead he looked around, gratefully slumping to a nearby chair. "Where's Prentiss?"

Spencer's face softened, as though a hint of the brunet's discomfort had disappeared. "I told her to go and eat something. She seems to keep forgetting she's pregnant."

Derek smiled a bit although he felt a tiny shudder inside. He couldn't even imagine what Emily must've been going through. Halfly to shake away that thought he spoke. "Guess what I brought?" He revealed a deck of cards. "I'm going to beat you for once."

Spencer grinned at that. "Are you sure you want to go against a magician from Vegas?"

They played for almost an hour, and it wasn't a surprise to either one of them that Spencer beat him hands down. Every now and then they had to pause as a wave of pain or nausea washed over the young genius. One particularly nasty wave of agony made Spencer throw up, with Derek being able to do nothing but watch. He'd never felt that helpless in his entire life, and Derek _hated_ feeling helpless. It seemed to take forever before the episode finally ended with moist-eyed Spencer emitting wheezing gasps.

Derek swallowed thickly, realizing absentmindedly that he was shaking. "Are you okay?"

The silence lasted so long that Derek shivered when Spencer whispered in a tone he'd never heard before. "I… I can't do this anymore, Morgan."

Derek frowned, not quite managing to follow. "What – you mean the game of cards?"

Spencer gave a faint smile that disappeared quickly, shaking his head. The brunet appeared utterly exhausted as the man looked away, not wanting to see his expression while saying what was following next. "No. I… I mean this – the hospital, treatments and all." The younger man swallowed laboriously. "I want them to end."

Coldness, such he'd never felt before, filled Derek. "So… You're giving up, huh?" It came out a lot more harshly than he'd intended. "You can't just…!"

Spencer shook his head, finally looking at him. Derek had never realized until then how tired the young genius' eyes were. "I'm not giving up. I'm admitting the inevitable." For just a moment he could've sworn he saw tears in the other man's eyes as they swept around the room, adamant not to turn towards him. "I'm… I'm not going to pull through, Derek. We both know that. And… And I don't want to spend my last days here."

Derek fought with all his might against the burning in his eyes. It was a huge miracle he succeeded. Little by little anger, which had always been something he was more familiar with, took over. Rage flamed in his veins, making him tremble slightly. He balled his fists so hard it hurt. "Have you talked to Prentiss?"

He wondered if it was a sob or laugh that erupted from Spencer's mouth as the brunet shook his head. "I don't know how to."

"How to what?"

How Emily had managed to sneak into the room without either one of them noticing was beyond Derek. She was currently stood by the room's door with a frown on her face. Derek noted absentmindedly that there was a strange mixture of fatigue, stress and glow from the pregnancy on her face.

Coming to a conclusion that this deffinitely wasn't something meant for his ears Derek got up, noticing that his muscles were stiff and sore. "I'll…" He cleared his throat, then tried again. "I'll go and get some coffee."

The other two nodded. He exchanged a one more look that spoke louder than any words with Spencer and squeezed Emily's shoulder comfortingly before emerging from the room. Everything felt so surreal that a part of him wondered if he was in some sort of a nightmare.

Stood in the tiny, extremely uncomfortable space that separated the room from the rest of the world Derek found himself pausing before leaving. Instead he turned, so that he could see into the room through the small glass on the door.

Inside Emily watched with several emotions etched to her usually stoic face as Spencer spoke. The further the brunet got the tighter the muscles of Emily's face grew. And then, without a warning, her control slipped.

If the door had been even a little bit less thick Derek might've heard the words as she screamed – _howled_ – with a couple of tears streaming down her cheeks. She was shaking, and it was obvious that her slightly bent knees barely supported her weight. And then, a couple of minutes later, it looked like she simply ran out of energy. As she fell to a chair, gasping hungrily and still shaking, Spencer finally moved. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer. In an instant Emily clung to Spencer as though for dear life, burying her face into his chest.

At that moment Derek decided that he couldn't watch any longer. He turned and left the tiny space with quick, stiff steps.

As soon as he stepped into the hospital's hallway he almost ran into Penelope Garcia. He wondered for a moment if she'd been about to enter or if she'd been pacing restlessly behind the door. As soon as she saw the look on his face she frowned. "Hey, what's wrong?" There was more than a hint of terror in her voice.

And then, completely unexpectedly, something broke inside Derek. He could feel Penelope staring at him with wide, scared eyes as he buried his face into one hand and slumped down to the bench that was mercifully nearby.

It was the first and last time in _ages_ he shed tears.

Two days later Spencer was able to go back home for what they knew much too surely to be the last time.

* * *

"Morgan, if you cheat one more time I swear I'll break your fingers one by one!" Emily growled, glaring at the man over the coffee table of her and Spencer's house.

Derek smirked and shrugged. "What? Is it that hard to believe that I'm this evening's champion?"

"Yeah, right…", Spencer, who was sitting in a nearby armchair, scoffed with apparent amusement. "He _is_ cheating, Emily."

David Rossi snorted, glaring at his own cards. "Wouldn't have taken a genius to tell that."

"Well, cheating or not…" There was a victorious look on JJ's face as she revealed her cards. "… it looks like there's a new champion in this room."

While Derek insisted rather loudly that JJ was the one cheating, managing to pull Emily and David into the childish debate, Aaron Hotchner glanced towards Spencer. Although the younger man was smiling there seemed to be something hiding in his eyes. He frowned. "Are you alright?" Aaron asked, carefully keeping his tone so quiet the others didn't hear.

Spencer nodded slightly stiffly and swallowed. "Yeah. I just…" The man took a deep breath. "I just can't help wondering how many sessions like this I'll get to see."

Aaron didn't know what to say to that, so he kept his quiet.

Some brief moments later Spencer's face first blanched, then contorted with such pain Aaron could almost _feel_ it. Before he could say or do a thing Emily got up much faster than should've been possible with her huge belly and all but dashed to the brunet. "C'mon, Spence. Look at me, okay? Just focus on me."

The rest of the team watched in utter silence as Emily held her hand on Spencer's knee and breathed steadily with him, whispering something so softly that they wondered if even the genius heard.

They'd all known that Spencer was in a lot of agony, and it was a miracle the man survived without heavier pain medication. But somehow _seeing_ this made the inevitable feel a lot too real.

Finally, after a lifetime, the pain seemed to subside. Spencer gave them a feeble, sheepish grin. "Sorry."

"Are you okay?" JJ asked in a voice they barely recognized.

Spencer nodded, not looking at anyone in the room. "Yeah", the brunet muttered quietly. "I'll be fine in a bit."

Penelope chose to cut the heavy momentary silence that followed. "You know… I brought something." She took a plastic bag, then grabbed something gently before revealing it to them. The object turned out to be a extremely beautiful, tiny beginning of a tree. "It's a apple-tree. I thought it'd be nice to plant it together."

For a while they were all struck speechless, and each member of the team had severe difficulties with hiding the emotions spinning inside them. In the end it was Spencer who spoke in a soft, barely audible voice. "Yeah. I think it's a nice idea."

Evening was darkening when Penelope ordered Derek and Aaron to take action. She observed and barked out commands as the two grown men – natural born alpha males – dug a hole in the backyard and planted the tree. Despite the dark undertones that hovered on the event JJ and David seemed to have some difficulties holding back chuckles as they watched to commotion.

After making sure no one was looking Emily slipped her hand into Spencer's, who squeezed back after a moment. A hint of sadness settled into them.

* * *

The first of October was a day of chaos. Half past six in the morning Emily's water broke, and she had to be rushed into a hospital. Considering the man's driving manners, it's a matter of taste if it was fortunate or not she and Spencer got Aaron as their driver. A couple of hours later a young female doctor with sharp eyes and features – Ivana Moledna, as her nametag said – told her that there seemed to be some complications.

Spencer, who barely managed to remain conscious at the time, wished from the bottom of his heart that he would've been stronger than he was when Emily looked at him with openly horrified eyes. "Jason… He's going to be fine, right?" she half-whispered, squeezing his hand tightly.

He tried to smile, but had a feeling that it didn't come out right. "Everything's going to work out", he murmured as strongly as he could, his finger making a soft circle to the back of her hand. "I promise."

Emily tightened her hold on his hand as a response, shivering when another contraction washed through her. Spencer had never felt so helpless in his entire life.

He opened his mouth – to say what would remain a mystery – until a female nurse in her early fifties with some extra-weight on her waist and badly bleached hair – walked into the room. "Alright, then. It's time to head to the theatre." The nurse then looked at him. "And you've had far too much excitement for one day. A nurse will take you to your room."

Neither he or Emily was given the chance to object. Without a doubt there was fear in Emily eyes as she was wheeled away. Spencer felt incredibly cold when the hold of their hands broke and she was taken out of the room.

He'd been so deep in thought that he shivered when a hand was laid to his shoulder. Looking to side he found a very young female nurse with long, black hair and gentle brown eyes. "Don't worry, I'm sure they'll be fine." She looked out the window, where day was growing brighter. Leaves were falling softly, glowing with several colors in the sunlight. "Your baby deffinitely chose a pretty day to be born."

His chest calmed down, but only a little bit. He gave the nurse a tiny, feeble smile.

Spencer must've been even more exhausted than he'd thought, because he dozed off at some point. His eyes fluttered open at the sound of approaching steps. Looking up he found Aaron walking towards his bed – and felt something shift in his chest when noticing what was craddled carefully into the man's arms. It was his and Emily's son, wrapped securely into a blue blanket.

"Emily's fine, although tired and sore. She asked me to bring him to see you." In some other situation he might've been stunned by the fact that there was a tiny, slightly sad smile on Aaron's face. "He's perfect and healthy." The man looked at him, those dark eyes carrying something he couldn't quite name. "Do you think you can hold him?"

Spencer nodded, his heart making a little jump. Slowly and carefully the man placed the tiny bungle into his pathetically weak arms. At first the baby squirmed a little but then calmed down with a huge yawn. All Spencer could do was stare, his heart racing.

To say the baby felt strange in his arms would've been a huge understatement. A part of him was absolutely terrified, and he was deeply worried that he'd break the little-one somehow. But the other, much bigger part of him… It was strange, and a bit terrifying, to feel something so huge. And here he'd thought his feelings for Emily had given him the scare of his life…

A couple of tears strayed to his cheeks but he barely noticed them, nor did he notice Aaron leave the room. All he could really focus on was his son, and the cruel yet inevitable fact that it was the last time they got to be together.

Spencer swallowed, pulling the baby just a little bit closer. "Hi", was at first the only thing he managed to come up with. The baby made a tiny sound, as though responding, and he swallowed again. "I'm sorry I can't stay with you and mommy, but… I'll watch over you both, so don't worry. I'll be keeping an eye on you. So be good to mommy. She's going to be tough, but only because she loves you." Suddenly, staring at the baby, he realized that he was running out of words. Or perhaps it was his courage failing. Either way he gulped laboriously, his throat basically on fire. "I love you, too. Don't ever forget that."

Once more the baby made a tiny chirping sound, moving a little.

Spencer was so captivated by the baby that he jolted with surprise when the room's door opened suddenly. Looking up he saw the rest of the team – his surrogate family – sneaking in. JJ had a brave little smile on her face. "Hi Spence. We didn't interrupt anything, did we?"

His expression softened as he shook his head, feeling slightly warmer than before. He then nodded towards the baby. "You're just in time to meet Jason."

Seeing the baby JJ brought a hand to her mouth while her smile widened. Morgan grinned, and there was something similar on David's face. Penelope melted completely at the sight of the little one. Emitting a soft cooing sound she reached out her arms towards the baby-boy. "Can I hold him?"

Spencer found himself chuckling, which was something he hadn't done in a while. "Could I stop you?"

Derek laughed as the blonde scooped the baby into her arms. "Poor Kevin's going to be having a hard time after this."

As he watched Penelope, JJ and surprisingly Derek hassling around the baby with Aaron and David looking on, Spencer found himself feeling lighter than he had in a long time. His eyes grew soft as something close to bittersweet peace filled him.

An hour or so later a nurse showed up to usher the team out of the room and to take the baby, who was getting hungry, to his mother. Aaron and David expressed their byes with nods, the looks on their faces saying everything necessary.

JJ tried to smile although her eyes shimmered a little while she squeezed his hand. "Get some rest, okay?"

Penelope patted his hair, which for some reason was something few dared to do lately. The expression on her face was much like JJ's. "We'll see you tomorrow, sweetie."

As the others left Derek lingered behind, his face unreadable. "So…" The man cleared his throat, not quite looking at him. "You're okay, now?"

Spencer nodded, not quite sure what to say in such a situation.

"Good." For a moment it looked like there'd been something Derek wanted to say, but instead the man headed towards the door. "I'll stop by tomorrow with a deck of cards."

At that point Spencer only managed to nod again and wave slightly. As the door closed he found himself feeling a lot colder than before.

* * *

Much later that night Spencer frowned but didn't have the energy to open his eyes immediately when he felt someone crawl into his bed. "Hey", Emily's soft voice whispered. She brushed his face with a gentle, cool hand. "Are you awake?"

He opened his eyes with some struggle to find her lay beside him. He wished he'd found the strength to smile. "Hmm", was what he managed to produce. He was more tired than ever in his life, but for the first time in months he wasn't in any pain. He felt calm and content, and wished Emily knew that.

He liked to think she did because she smiled a bit, feebly but still. "Jason's asleep, so I snuck in to see you. I missed you, and so does he, but they wouldn't let me take him along."

He frowned. '_Are you okay?_' his gaze asked. She'd just given birth, after all.

She tried to give him a admonishing look and failed miserably. "I'm sore but there's nothing wrong with me." She half-poked, half-brushed his forehead and her hand was left resting to his cheek. "So stop looking at me like that."

Closing his eyes and relaxing completely Spencer leaned in to her familiar, comforting touch. A small, calm sigh escaped him.

It hurt, to know how little time they had left. But the moment was perfect.

Without giving it any further thought or saying a thing Emily leaned forward and placed her lips to his, giving him the kind of a kiss they'd never had before. It was soft and tender yet so filled with intensity that it almost took his breath away. He wasn't sure if she noticed it, but the kiss tasted like goodbye.

In the end his weakened lungs gave out and he gasped into her mouth, giving Emily the signal to break the kiss. She obeyed, but left her forehead leaning against his. She refused to open her eyes while her hand slipped into one of his and held on tigthly. "I love you, you know?" she whispered, so quietly he barely caught it. It was the first time she uttered those words so that she knew he was awake, and surprisingly they came out easily.

Spencer found himself smiling, just a little bit. He forced his thumb to rub two soft circles to the back of Emily's hand, emitting the response his mouth couldn't produce.

Spencer wondered if he fell asleep or passed out, because the next thing he became aware of was Emily's voice that carried a hint of urgency. "Spence?" The name still didn't seem to fit into her mouth.

It was quite a surprise that his eyes opened, halfway but still. His vision was blurry at first but soon cleared, so that he could really look at Emily. He couldn't help noticing that she looked beautiful that night, even though there were unshed tears in her eyes.

For the longest time Spencer had been absolutely terrified of dying, of leaving everything behind. But at the moment all fear was gone.

He wished Emily knew that she'd be okay, that both she and Jason would be okay. Because he knew, with utmost certainty.

He managed to keep his eyes open for a little bit longer, but then all strength left him. Once more he glanced into Emily's eyes before his own slipped closed. Feeling heavy and utterly exhausted he found himself drifting away.

The moment Reid's eyes closed a part of Emily _knew_, and she felt cold all over when squeezing his hand tightly. There was no longer tension in his muscles. And soon enough her wide, rapidly tearing up eyes watched helplessly as his chest stilled.

Just like that, as though with a flick of some switch, it was over.

Emily's mouth opened although it wasn't able to form words. Not that anything she could've said would've made any difference.

Spencer was actually gone.

Over two hours later Emily made her way to the small room where Jason was resting in his tiny bed, constantly observed by nurses. The baby emitted a tiny sound when she picked him up to her slightly shaking arms, as though he'd been asking what was going on.

She squeezed her eyes tightly shut. It took what felt like ages until she could finally speak. "It's… It's just the two of us now, kiddo", she murmured, almost choking on those words. It was around then the first tears slipped past her guard. "Daddy's gone. He's gone." And as she said those words the reality behind them finally dawned on her, slashing deeper than any knife.

Emily had never been one to give loud displays of emotions and she didn't that night, either. In fact she didn't utter a sound as she leaned her forehead against the baby, the tears that begged to be released finally rolling freely. Jason watched with what looked like confusion when her body shook violently under a storm of sobs.

Neither noticed the strange warm breeze that made its way through the room and eventually circled them, as though embracing them.

* * *

**_Six Years Later_**

_

* * *

_

Time flew by with the speed of light, days turned into years. And much to the team's amazement life went on.

Their strange little family wasn't quite the same anymore with one of them gone. Every time they met they were forced to face the fact that there was something valuable missing, and at first it'd been so painful that they'd actually avoided each other. But in the end they did the only thing they could, what Spencer would've wanted – they survived. They were incredibly glad Strauss had been smart enough not to try and find a replacement for Spencer. There was no way anyone would've been enough to fill that void.

That morning Emily's eyes shimmered slightly as she opened them slowly, not quite willing to let go of the dream she'd just been having. She'd never been exactly a morning person, but it was nearly excruciating to wake up in the middle of dream where she'd been with Spencer once more, where…

Fortunately a soft screech of door cut that thought before she had the chance to let herself break completely. "Mommy?" Tiny steps approached the bed. "Are you awake?"

Blinking away the threatening tears she looked at him. The sight of him made it easy to smile a little. "Yeah." She patted the empty space before her. "Now get over here, birthday boy."

Grinning widely the child obeyed, his eyes – so very familiar it hurt her sometimes – shining with joy. As he jumped into the bed and snuggled closer to her she ran a hand through his soft, brown hair.

_He looks more and more like his dad every day_, she mused, and didn't know how to feel about it.

"So…", Jason's voice pulled her out of those thoughts. His eyes still shone with excitement. "When do you give me a present?"

This time the smile came freely. She brushed the child's skin with one gentle hand. "Later, kiddo. You need to be patient for a bit longer."

The boy frowned. "Why?"

She swallowed. "Because… We're going to meet BAU first."

Jason's eyes immediately lit up once more. "Cool! I get to show them my new magic-trick."

Emily's stomach knotted to a tiny ball although her smile remained. "That's right. And guess what else?" She breathed once, her emotions barely in control. "You're… a big boy, now. I think it's time I take you to see daddy, too."

Jason's eyes became very serious, almost troubled. It took a long moment before he managed to voice what was bothering him. "Mommy… Do you think he'll listen to me, if I talk to him?"

Emily blinked furiously while nodding once, her eyes stinging. "I'm sure he will, honey." Shifting to lay on her back, she pointed towards the room's roof. With the lights off it was easy to see the glowing patterns. "See that? Daddy painted those when he found out about you – it's a constellation called Orion." This time she couldn't keep the tears from rolling, and was glad Jason was too worked up by the roof to see them. She cleared her throat. "He… He asked me to tell you that no matter what, he'll be looking at us both from the stars. So he's not far." She kissed the little boy's hair. "And he loves you very, very much."

Jason nodded, far more serious than someone of his age should've been. "Okay."

After that they lay in a comfortable, thoughtful silence.

And somehow, although she'd always been a woman of rationality and common sense, Emily found it easy to imagine that Spencer was there beside them.

* * *

That evening Jason was sitting by the driveway of his home when man with brown hair he'd never seen before walked over to him. "Hey, Jason." The man's tone sounded strange, choked.

Jason frowned, tensing up. "I'm not supposed to talk to strangers."

The man seemed to fight between bursting into tears and laughter. "I know." The stranger took a deep breath. "I'm… a very, very old friend of your father's. A little bit before he passed away he found me and asked me to give you something." The man handed him an envelope. "Happy birthday, Jason."

Jason felt deeply conflicted, but in the end gave in to his curiosity he accepted the offering. As soon as he did the stranger turned and began to walk away. He frowned. "Hey, mister!" The man stopped, but didn't look towards him. "Who are you?"

There was a long pause. "Would you believe that my name is also Jason?"

As soon as the man had left Jason forgot all caution and ripped the envelope open. A tiny piece of paper floated to his open hand. He frowned before reading the words.

'_As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let us down, probably will. You'll have your heart broken and you'll break others' hearts. You'll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them, and you'll cry because time is flying by. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you've never been hurt. Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. You just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone's hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your face hurts. Don't be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back._

(Unknown)'

Jason wasn't sure if he understood his father's words fully just yet. But nonetheless he smiled.

* * *

Sitting into his car and working his hardest to keep himself together Jason Gideon allowed himself to look at the much too familiar-looking child once more. His eyes stung, but still he managed to smile a little.

Just then other familiar people showed up as BAU arrived to meet a visibly excited Jason and a lot calmer, puffy-eyed Emily who emerged from the house. Jason let his gaze linger on what'd once been his team, family.

He knew the hell Emily had been through.

He knew Derek had been through anger management and intense therapy.

He knew there were times when Aaron – the team's solid rock – could barely take the weight that'd been put to his shoulders. That there were nights when only Jack kept him sane.

He knew David loved whisky a lot more than he should've.

He knew that although at the moment heavily pregnant Penelope was happy with Kevin there were times when the thought of losing her other family drove her to the edge of quitting her job.

He knew, and at times he had hard time managing with the guilt. But he also had a feeling that it was too late to undo his bitter mistake. The team had survived, moved on, become a different kind of family he no longer had a place in. And it was all his fault.

So, as he started the car and drove away, all Jason Gideon could do was send a prayer to up above that Spencer would take good care of them.

* * *

Some hours later the entire team was gathered to the backyard of the house Emily now owned alone. As Jason made squeals of excitement while opening his presents – a magician's set, some children's' scientist equipment, books and a lot of other stuff almost no other six-year-old could do anything with – Emily found herself walking towards Derek. He was standing right before the apple-tree their team had planted once upon a time, when their family had still been whole.

Her gaze met Derek's when he sensed someone looking and turned his head, and no words were needed. She knew that right after her he'd taken this all the hardest. It'd taken two months before he'd been able to speak Spencer's name. For the first two years his knuckles had been bloodied almost all the time from when he'd taken his anger out on a punching bag, just about hard enough to damage bones.

"Do you feel like going back to the others?" Emily asked after a long silence, finding herself unable to look away from the tree. Considering the time of year it looked unnaturally vibrant. "Jason's going to open your present next."

It took a few more moments before Derek responded. "Yeah." It seemed to be a difficult task, but in the end the man turned away from the tree. "Let's go."

Together they walked back to the others, both feeling that they were being watched.

They made it to the others just in time to see Jason observe with keen interest what looked like a mystery-box. "How does this work?" the child inquired.

Morgan shrugged with a grin. "Go ahead and find out."

It can only be guessed if Jason even heard him. With a look of deep concentration on his face the child worked on the box for a few minutes. Then, so unexpectedly that it startled them all slightly, there was a soft 'click' and the box slid open, revealing its contents.

With a slight frown Jason picked up the whistle that'd been put inside.

Emily could hear Derek grit teeth. "Your dad… I once gave him a whistle, so he can call me for help if he needs me." There was a long pause as the man swallowed thickly. "You can also ask me for help, anytime. Don't forget that." (1)

Seeming to understand Jason grinned brightly, revealing two missing teeth. "Thanks."

They'd never seen Derek smile the way the man did then. "You're welcome, kid."

Just then Jason spotted something that made the child gasp. The boy pointed a finger to somewhere behind them. "Look!"

They all did as ordered, and even though they were adults they found it hard to hold back gasps. For there sun was setting, dying the entire landscape with colors that could barely be considered natural. The entire city seemed to be bathing in warm red and orange. They'd never seen anything like that before.

"That's… pretty fantastic", Rossi managed with a baffled expression.

"Mommy", Jason whispered, staring at the sight with wide eyes. "I think daddy's smiling."

Unable to speak, Emily wrapped her arms around the boy and held on tight. She didn't care if there were tears in her eyes.

She found herself agreeing with her son.

* * *

'_To live in hearts we leave behind, Is not to die._'  
(Thomas Campbell)

* * *

**_End._**

**_

* * *

_**

1) In case you've forgotten… I think it was in season one Reid failed his gun-qualification test, thus losing his gun. Morgan chose to tease him and gave him a whistle so he could call for help. (Granted, later Reid threw the whistle right back at Morgan after getting his gun back.)

* * *

A/N: (swallows thickly) You know, I kind of had a lump in my throat while writing this. Weird, huh?

Anyway… (looks warily) What do you guys think – was the second chapter any good, at all? Or should I just get ride of it? **PLEASE**, leave me a review. I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Awkay, since it's getting pretty late I've gotta start tuning out. (winces) Thank you so much for reading this, and especially for reviewing and listing! (hugs) It DOES mean a lot.

Maybe I'll be seeing you around some day?

Take care!


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